Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast #177: Avoid Wedding Day Drama: Essential Officiant Questions You Need To Ask!
Got questions for your wedding officiant? We’ve got you covered!
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In This Edition
In this week’s edition, our hosts provide invaluable advice on ensuring your wedding officiant’s style matches your vision, customizing your ceremony, handling marriage licenses, and more.
Most importantly, learn how to avoid last-minute surprises and create a smooth, personal, and stress-free wedding day.
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Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast #177: Avoid Wedding Day Drama: Essential Officiant Questions You Need To Ask!
Host: Sal & Sam
Music: “Sam’s Tune” by Rick Anthony
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Produced by Atmosphere Productions in association with After Hours Events of New England
Transcript
Avoid Wedding Day Drama: Essential Officiant Questions You Need To Ask!
DJ Sal: Today’s edition will help you avoid wedding day drama with some essential officiant questions you need to ask. Your officiant has one of the most important roles on your wedding day. They literally are the person who makes your marriage official.
DJ Sam: But here’s the thing not all wedding officiant are the same and not asking the right questions early on can lead to confusion, awkward moments, or even legal headaches on your big day
DJ Sal: Thanks for joining us. Hi. I am Sal from After Hours Events of New England. That’s After Hours Events Of N.E. dot com.
I’m sure you’ve heard it before in past editions that I am a wedding officiant and I’ve been doing it now for over 17 years and have literally done hundreds of ceremonies. So this is where my expert point of view is gonna come in while doing this edition.
DJ Sam: Thanks for joining us. I’m Sam from Atmosphere Productions Atmosphere hyphen Productions dot com.
DJ Sal: Learn more about our experience and the journey [00:01:00] to help you with Stress-Free Wedding Planning in the trailer or pilot of this podcast.
JR: Welcome to Stress-Free Wedding Planning, the podcast that will transform your wedding planning journey from chaotic to enchanting. Sal and Sam bring over 80 years of combined wedding expertise and exclusive insider information to the table. If you’re recently engaged, feeling the pressure of wedding planning. Struggling with family expectations, but still dreaming of a joy-filled wedding. You’ve come to the right place. Get ready to unveil the best-kept wedding secrets. Discover practical tips and strategies and learn life-changing lessons for a stress-free wedding. Your unforgettable wedding day awaits.
We’re here to take you on a transformative journey of love, laughter, and memories, so don’t miss out on the podcast. That just might change your life. This is the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam.
DJ Sam: Whether you’re planning a lighthearted celebration, a traditional ceremony or something totally unique, these questions will help you avoid last minute [00:02:00] surprises and keep your wedding day smooth, personal and stress-free.
DJ Sal: So how do you know if an officiant’s style and tone matches your vision?
DJ Sam: What should you ask about customizing your ceremony or writing your own vows.
DJ Sal: Who’s responsible for handling your marriage license after the ceremony?
DJ Sam: What happens if your officiant gets sick or can’t make it last minute?
DJ Sal: And most importantly, how can you make sure your ceremony feels like you?
DJ Sam: Getting these questions answered appropriately will relieve stress on your wedding day.
But first thanks to Nicole and Ben for watching our podcast on YouTube to help plan their wedding. They’ll be getting married in May of 2026 in Simsbury, Connecticut. You can do the same and get a special shout-out by going to YouTube and subscribing to the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam. Thank you again Nicole and Ben for watching and listening to the [00:03:00] Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast.
DJ Sal: The officiant is standing between you and the first kiss as a married couple, and if you think, ” Ooh, they just read a few lines or pronounce us married!” Well, buckle up. There’s a lot more to it!
DJ Sam: Absolutely! A good officiant sets the tone for the entire ceremony. A bad one though let’s just say you’ll be talking about that awkward moment forever, and not in a good way.
DJ Sal: And yeah, no one wants the officiant who forgot the couple’s names story.
DJ Sam: No they don’t! So today we’re sharing the essential questions you need to ask your wedding officiant to avoid any wedding day drama.
DJ Sal: So let’s get the ball rolling. Question number one, and this is a big one. What is your ceremony style?
DJ Sam: Every officiant has a vibe. Some formal, some traditional, others are funny and lighthearted. Some are spiritual. While others completely secular. You [00:04:00] want to ensure their tone aligns with your personality and the desired mood for your ceremony.
DJ Sal: I always tell couples that your officiant is like the DJ for your ceremony. They control the energy, the flow, and the emotion. If you want something heartfelt and personal and you’re officiant shows up sounding like they’re reading a tax form, that’s not a great start!
DJ Sam: That’s totally true! So now Sal what is your style?
DJ Sal: So I, I built the style over the last 17 years that I’ve been doing this. Uh, again, I’ve done hundreds of weddings and I like to be the funny, lighthearted person, not a standup comedian in any way, but I like to keep it fun and relaxed, so everyone’s having a great time.
DJ Sam: If you are trying to vet your officiant, get some examples or even the script or even a video of them actually doing a wedding.
DJ Sal: Next up, can we customize our ceremony? This is a huge one, everyone. You’d be surprised how many couples [00:05:00] assume they could change things around and then find out later that the officiant only does one kind of ceremony.
DJ Sam: Oh man! That’s right, I’ve seen this happen. Now, Sal you customize ceremonies for your clients. Tell us a little bit about that.
DJ Sal: So, you know, customization I think is very important. You need to make everything unique to you, let it be about you. So I will actually show them a number of different ceremony scripts and say, look, you’re not gonna like a single one of them as a whole, but you’re gonna like bits and pieces. So let’s take those bits and pieces and create a new one. Or even do a Google search. Find other wording that you like, and we’ll make it work for you. And always tell a love story that really adds to everything.
DJ Sam: It’s great that you do it the way that you do it so you can personalize it for everyone. Another question which some people might think be maybe a little bit boring but is critical is are you legally authorized to officiate in your State? Isn’t that crucial Sal?
DJ Sal: Absolutely. You know, a lot of people just assume that because someone officiates weddings that [00:06:00] they could legally do it in the State that they’re in. Uh, a lot of people are now ordained ministers, and not every State recognizes that. And you have to go through extra hoops to make sure you could legally marry someone in that particular State.
So you really need to find out all the information. If you’re dealing with a Justice of the Peace and you’re getting married in Connecticut, the justice piece has to be one from Connecticut, not from another state, uh, because other state JPS cannot do the job in Connecticut.
DJ Sam: Nothing says romance like realizing you’re not legally married while you’re on your honeymoon in Aruba!
DJ Sal: That’s that’s so true. So true.
Do you have a question or concern? Go now to Facebook and join us on the Stress-Free Wedding Planning community and now in the Connecticut Wedding Advice Community.
You can also join us on our YouTube channel. Just search for Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam. Like, comment, subscribe, and get it first. We would like to thank you, our listeners, and because of you, we are now ranked [00:07:00] number 15 in the Top 60 Wedding Planning podcasts by million podcasts dot com.
JR: This Is the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam. A podcast for engaged couples concerned about wedding planning and family expectations, but who want a stress-free, fun and unforgettable wedding.
Speaker 4: Twice the night before Christmas and all through the days. Hold it, now wait. Hold it. That’s played out! Happy holidays. ‘Tis the season to say thank you to our listeners who continue to support the Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast. You are the foundation of what we do each week. We’d also like to thank our sponsors for your continuing support. No matter how you celebrate this holiday season. We offer you love, peace, joy, and our best wishes. We want to be filled with good health, happiness, spectacular success, and, of course stress-free wedding planning. Watch us on YouTube, tell a friend, share your tips and suggestions, and join us in the Stress-Free Wedding Planning community. And now [00:08:00] in the Connecticut Wedding Advice community.
Join us in the new year for more awesome new editions as we seek to help engage couples who are stressed out with wedding planning and family expectations. But want a fun wedding day. Happy holidays!
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DJ Sam: It’s Wedding Tip Wednesday time. Today, why having a seating chart is crucial for wedding planning.
DJ Sal: A seating chart is a must. So are table numbers. Here’s why. Guests want to have direction. No direction equals a mess. Wait staff need it in order to give the correct food. No one wants to ask someone to move over or switch tables because they have no room. Having no seating chart leads to many people being unable to sit together or having chairs moved.
DJ Sam: And that’s another wedding tip from Sal and Sam.
Adam: Wedding Tip Wednesday is available on the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Facebook group page every Wednesday. Join the group for free.
JR: This is the Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam.
DJ Sam: Now back to this edition: Avoiding Wedding Day Drama, Some Essential Officiant Questions You Need To Ask. Here’s some of those additional questions you should be asking. But first I’m Sam from Atmosphere [00:10:00] Productions.
DJ Sal: And I’m Sal, After Hours Events of New England.
DJ Sam: And another question is do you attend the rehearsal. That’s a question you should definitely ask your wedding officiant because things go so much smoother, if the officiant is there to walk you through it.
DJ Sal: That’s right Sam. They help with where to stand, who cues who, when to hand off the bouquets, all the ceremony choreography. If they can’t attend, make sure they provide clear notes or do a quick run through on the day of.
DJ Sam: And while you are at it here’s another good question. How you handle communication leading up to the wedding?
DJ Sal: You definitely want someone who’s responsive. If they take three weeks to answer an email, that’s a major red flag.
DJ Sam: Yeah you’re right. You’re trusting them with one of the most significant moments of your life. You deserve good communication and confidence in their process.
DJ Sal: Now this is one that’s often overlooked. Do you have a backup plan if something happens to you?
DJ Sam: [00:11:00] Well I’m gonna flip this one back over to you Sal. What’s your backup plan?
DJ Sal: You know, you always have to have a backup plan, and in our company, we have a number of wedding officiant, so there’s always someone available. And it’s not just the DJs, we actually have people who just do officiating. So a backup plan is very important, and I can’t tell you how important. This is, how I became a wedding officiant.
I was at a wedding and uh, all of a sudden there was no wedding officiant to do the ceremony. And I felt so bad for this couple. We ended up finding someone, uh, close by to help out, but I did become an officiant afterwards. And what happened? I had two weddings that the officiant did not make it to, and I got to step right in as a backup plan and make everything happen for the couple.
DJ Sam: That’s cool I love hearing that story, how you make it right by doing something as special as that. Now let’s ask what do you wear? You don’t want your officiant showing up in jeans and t-shirt. What do you wear, Sal?
DJ Sal: So it, it is amazing, Sam, how people automatically [00:12:00] assume that you’re gonna. Wear a certain thing and, and not realize they do need to ask this question. So, uh, personally I have a robe, a black robe that I wear. The couple always has the decision to have me come in a suit instead, but, uh, I’ve never had anybody ask me that. They say the robe is absolutely fine.
DJ Sam: Yeah that’s a really great question and a great answer there, Sal. Now let’s move on to the experience factor. This is another crucial question. How many weddings have you officiated? Because experience matters. Don’t you believe that, Sal?
DJ Sal: A thousand percent. I know that’s where this, the problem nowadays that everyone is getting ordained to do a friend’s wedding and things like that, and the inexperience sometimes really shows and can really hurt the event or even hurt the l egal part of the event. So yeah, you, you need to have experience. You need to know that this person has done a number of weddings and know what they’re doing, especially in the State in which you’re getting married.
DJ Sam: That’s right Sal. Experience [00:13:00] really does matter. The more weddings that a wedding officiant has done, the better they are at handling surprises like the wind or technical microphone issues or crying babies, or that one Groomsman who almost fainted.
DJ Sal: This is, you know, this does happen and you know, these are not fake stories. These are things that happen that we’ve had people faint at, uh, a wedding. And how do you handle it? What do you do? An experienced officiant, who knows to keep calm and adapt without skipping a beat. This is so very important to keep things running smoothly. Now there is something else I do wanna bring up in this edition, and that is most people don’t realize how the legality of a license works and the legality of a ceremony.
I’ve had couples who will not hand their license to the officiant prior to the ceremony. In Connecticut and in Massachusetts, in pretty, in a lot of different other states, the officiant must have [00:14:00] possession of the license before actually performing the uh, ceremony. So that’s very important too. And the couple cannot touch that license again afterwards. The officiant is the one who has to get it back to Town Hall. The couple cannot be the ones to do that. And you have to make sure you have a, an officiant that you can rely on that’s gonna make sure it does get to its destination. So you are legally married. One other thing I wanna add there is a legal part to every ceremony. Most of the words in the ceremony. Don’t mean anything in the legal sense of things, but the couple must be asked if they intend to get married. It has to be an intent. So you have to have an intent in your script so that they are saying, yes, we, we wanna be married to each other. ‘ Cause if that is not said, it’s not a legal ceremony.
DJ Sam: Thanks Sal for giving us that advice I hope this edition has helped you with any questions that you need to ask your wedding officiant before the big day.
DJ Sal: So there you have it. The questions that can save [00:15:00] you from a world of wedding day stress.
DJ Sam: Exactly officiant isn’t just reading lines. They’re guiding one of the most emotional and meaningful moments of your life. When you ask the right questions you’ll know you’ve got the right person standing up with you.
DJ Sal: It’s all about communication, preparation and making sure their vibe matches yours. Do that early and your ceremony will be smooth, heartfelt, and totally you.
DJ Sam: And remember don’t be afraid to have these conversations upfront. The best officiants love couples who care about creating something personal, and memorable.
DJ Sal Fusco: Now as you spend the next week planning your wedding, if you want me, Sam, or our community of Stress-free engaged couples and wedding experts to answer any wedding related questions, join us over in the Stress-free Wedding Planning Facebook group.
DJ Sam: Once you’re in, go ahead and share your concerns and worries, and we’ll let you know if you are on the right track or if there’s something we need to work [00:16:00] on. The link to join us is in the show notes of this edition, or go to Facebook and search for the Stress-free Wedding Planning community.
DJ Sal: A new edition is released every Wednesday. Subscribe and get it first. Remember to do something nice for someone today, and if you can’t do something nice for yourself, we’ll catch you then CAOI!!
DJ Sam: Thank you for listening to this edition. If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just heard, leave a review and share it with a friend or someone who would benefit from this information. Until next time, it’s TTFN Tah Tah For Now!
Wayne: The Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast is produced and copyrighted by Atmosphere Productions in association with After Hours Events of New England.
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