Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast #151: What to Play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss and 8 Creative Ways to Skip Them
Discover exciting options beyond the bouquet & garter toss and keep your guests entertained!
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Meet Sal and Sam, your hosts for The Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast. Additionally, this podcast is for engaged couples who feel overwhelmed with wedding planning and family expectations but want a memorable and fun wedding day.
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In This Edition
This week, we’re sharing insights into the history of the Bouquet and Garter Toss.
Additionally, Sal and Sam offer eight creative alternatives to the bouquet and garter toss to keep guests engaged.
By the end of this edition you’ll learn the role of music in these traditions, when typically to perform the bouquet toss, and various song recommendations.
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Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast #151: What to Play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss and 8 Creative Ways to Skip Them
Host: Sal & Sam
Music: “Sam’s Tune” by Rick Anthony
Join our community for free tips and suggestions – Stress-free Wedding Planning Community
Produced by Atmosphere Productions in association with After Hours Events of New England
Transcript
What to Play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss and 8 Creative Ways to Skip Them
DJ Sal Fusco: Planning your wedding and wondering whether to include the bouquet garter toss? Not sure what music sets the right vibe? Or if you should skip the bouquet and garter altogether. Thanks for joining us. Hi, I’m Sal from After Hours Events of New England.
We’ll answer these questions and explain what to play for your bouquet and garter toss, and eight creative ways to skip them, in today’s edition of the Stress-Free Wedding Planning podcast.
Sylvester: Welcome to another edition of our podcast. Hi there, I am Sam from Atmosphere [00:00:30] Productions. Listen now and discover wedding insider secrets for a Stress-Free, fun and memorable day. Our podcast helps engage couples navigate Wedding Planning complexities while addressing family expectations. We will guide you through the journey of creating the perfect wedding day without unnecessary stress. By the end of this edition, you’ll get concise tips on budgeting, wedding party management, ceremony, reception planning, and [00:01:00] more. Perfect for anyone planning a wedding all in 30 minutes or less. Trust us. You don’t want to miss this.
JR: Welcome to Stress-Free Wedding Planning, the podcast that will transform your Wedding Planning journey from chaotic to enchanting, Sal and Sam bring over 80 years of combined wedding expertise and exclusive insider information to the table. If you’re recently engaged, feeling the pressure of Wedding Planning.
Struggling with family expectations, but still dreaming of a joy filled wedding. You’ve come to the right [00:01:30] place. Get ready to unveil the best kept wedding secrets. Discover practical tips and strategies and learn life-changing lessons for a Stress-Free wedding. Your unforgettable wedding day awaits.
We’re here to take you on a transformative journey of love, laughter, and memories, so don’t miss out on the podcast. That just might change your life. This is the Stress-Free Wedding Planning podcast with Sal and Sam.
DJ Sal Fusco: On today’s podcast, we’ll explain what to play for your Bouquet and Garter toss, and eight creative ways to skip [00:02:00] them. Hi, I’m Sal. From After Hours Events, we’re the experts in creating Stress-Free unforgettable weddings, bringing energy, professionalism, and a personal touch to every celebration.
Let’s make your big day extraordinary. Visit us at After Hours Events of N.E Dot com. Learn more about our experience and journey to help you with Stress-Free Wedding Planning in the trailer or pilot of this podcast.
Sylvester: Now the Bouquet and Garter toss have been part of Wedding Traditions for decades. Some [00:02:30] couples love the energy it brings. Others prefer to skip it. Whichever camp you fall into, one things for certain music plays a big role in setting that tone. Hi, I’m Sam from the Award-Winning Atmosphere Productions. Wedding Entertainment with Expert Knowledge and the difference in quality. Specializing in live ceremony musicians and cocktail hour string musicians plus lighting. And an elegant and classy [00:03:00] presentation, we have exactly what you need. Visit us at Atmosphere hyphen Productions dot com. That’s Atmosphere hyphen Productions dot com.
DJ Sal Fusco: In today’s edition, we’ll explain what to play for the bouquet and garter toss, and eight creative ways to skip them. Some customs have been around for a long time that we lose track of them and how they actually started to begin with. So let’s go in the history of the garter a little. So the garter simply, it’s a band worn around your leg. It [00:03:30] used to be used in the olden days to actually hold up your stockings. So men and women, uh, wore this since the Middle Ages. Bridal garters have been considered a token of good luck, but in the 21st century, people tend to wear them more for fashion than for function.
Sylvester: The garter toss specifically is a Western wedding tradition dating back centuries. In medieval times, pieces of the bride’s ensemble were considered tokens of good luck. So much [00:04:00] so that guests would fight to rip the clothes off the bride, so that they could keep a little favor.
Uh, so it would be a little piece of good luck for them. But, the version most people are familiar with these days, since we don’t rip people’s clothes off anymore, is by wearing a garter and having it removed at the reception. Now, generally you get to buy that. Anywhere from 10 to a hundred dollars. And during the reception [00:04:30] portion, with the assistance of the DJ or the uh, musician, the bride sits in a chair while the groom removes the garter from around her leg. Now, obviously, remember that if you are a bride, you’ve gotta set this up in advance. You’ve, when you’re getting dressed, you’ve gotta put your garter on and wear it throughout the ceremony, right through the reception so it can be removed. Now, obviously, the grooms like to have a little fun with this, and they don’t necessarily have to use their hands . I’ve also seen where [00:05:00] they’ve surreptitiously put a ball and chain under the dress or, uh, a golf ball or a, a soccer ball or a football. Whatever, just to. You know, kind of make it a little funny.
The garter toss is basically seen as the male counterpart to the bouquet toss in which the unmarried ladies compete to catch the bouquet. In fact, the person who nabs the garter sometimes puts it on the lady who caught the floral [00:05:30] arrangement? Well, the bouquet. They can then, you know, share a special dance later, depending on how far you want to take this. There are many, many variations that we’ve seen throughout the years.
DJ Sal Fusco: Now let’s talk about the history of the bouquet. You may not know this, but the bouquet is one of the oldest wedding traditions and it’s morphed to be different things over the centuries. And nowadays it’s one of those things when you throw the bouquet, whoever catches it, the superstition is. They are the next one who will get [00:06:00] married.
In pagan times wedding flowers represented fertility and were believed to bring luck. Ancient Roman and Greek brides carried bouquets of herbs to ward off evil spirits.
Sylvester: Now the bouquet as we have it today dates back to the 19th century, and again, women at that time believed that touching the bride, uh, on her wedding day would bring good luck. And again, just like the garter legend has it, that, uh, people would rip pieces of the [00:06:30] bride’s dress or try to steal her bouquet as a keepsake. Therefore, women started tossing the bouquet so that the crowds of women that would try to, uh, tear their dress or take something from them, they would just be able to take the flowers. The version that people are most familiar with today, as Sal says, is the popular throwing of the bouquet. And what we suggest is get a throwaway bouquet from your florist that is, uh, so that you can [00:07:00] toss to the single ladies so that you can keep your traditional bouquet. Once tossed, the single ladies will obviously scramble to catch it.
And as we also mentioned, uh, you can then combine that with the garter ceremony where the gentleman uh, who caught the garter puts it on the lady who caught the throwaway bouquet.
DJ Sal Fusco: Just a reminder, join us on our YouTube channel. Just search for the Stress Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam. Like, subscribe and get it first.
Now that you [00:07:30] understand the history of why the bouquet and garter ceremony is done, let’s explain to you when a bouquet toss typically happens, and it’s usually something later in the evening. After dinner time, some point. Uh, and, uh, you wanna use music to kind of create energy for this moment.
One of the most popular songs out there has always been “Single Ladies” by Beyonce. This one’s a classic for a good reason.
It is bold, fun and gets the crowd cheering and all the ladies get to fill their hand if there’s no ring on it. So [00:08:00] they’re single and ready to make this happen.
I remember in the eighties and nineties. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. Which is just great for creating a carefree, upbeat mood.
And then we had, oh, this was another one, Beyonce. Beyonce is the Queen, right? ” Run the World”. There’s another empowering anthem that brings energy and confidence. And of course, the lovely Shania Twain. Uh, we have, “Man, I Feel Like A Woman”, uh, Demi Lovato, “Confident.” ” “Lady Marmalade”. Uh, “Smooth” by [00:08:30] Santana. ” Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe. Uh, “Country Girl” by Luke Bryan. That’s a real fun song. Usually gets all the ladies going. “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo. ” Flowers”, by Miley Cyrus. I don’t usually suggest such a low key song. Energy is usually the best way to go. And then you have “Paper Rings” by Taylor Swift.
Choose a song that feels right for your group of friends. That is very important. You want it to fit the vibe of your friends. Think about your bridesmaids, your single guests, what song will make them [00:09:00] catch that bouquet and have a great time with it.
Sylvester: Now music for the garter toss. This is something that you can use that’s kind of cheeky but smooth, uh, depending on your style of course. Now just remember you can Google any of these songs. We can’t actually play them for copyright laws. So just please, if you want to hear them, just Google and or put them into iTunes or whatever music player you use and take a listen, if you’re not familiar with any [00:09:30] of these. Some popular tracks for the garter toss is Ginuwine’s “Pony”, kind of playful and flirty? Uh, Nelly’s “Hot In Here”. It’s been, uh, a song that we use, uh, since the, the, the song was released in the early Nineties’s. It’s high energy, and it’s got that right amount of edge to it. Chappelle Roan kind of new “Pink Pony Club”.
And some fun ones. “Suit and Tie” Justine Timberlake, Maroon Five’s “Sugar”, and a classic from the eighties. [00:10:00] Yello’s “Oh Yeah!” It’s in a lot of different commercials, so you’ve probably heard it and probably didn’t even know what, artists sang it. Some of my favorites. Some of these are little old school, so I apologize. The Mission Impossible Theme. The Pink Panther Theme. The Benny Hill Theme. You see where I’m going? There a lot of theme songs in there, uh, because people know them. Right Said Fred, “I’m Too Sexy” from the nineties.
Also, uh, eighties and nineties fans will love the Inner Circle [00:10:30] “Cops Theme”, “Bad Boys, Bad Boys”, Georgia satellites from the eighties. “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” and Dua Lipa comes in with two selections, “Dance The Night Away”, and “Houdini” both great tracks that everybody should uh, know and be able to react to.
What you have to do is ask yourself, how do you want your guests to react? Do you want them laughing, dancing, smiling, or just surprised? The song you choose can steer [00:11:00] that moment and that direction.
Now the person who nabs the garter sometimes, uh, puts it on the leg of whoever wins, uh, the bouquet toss, as we said. Uh, and they might share the next dance. If you don’t want to do this, you can just end the, uh, garter toss where it is. And it’s the same with the bouquet toss. If you don’t want to do anything further, you can just end it exactly, uh, at the end when somebody catches it.
Work with your DJ or your musician, uh, to work out how you want to do this, uh, or delete [00:11:30] it because Sal’s gonna go over some cons of why he thinks this should no longer be done.
DJ Sal Fusco: So, most importantly, if you’re going to really consider doing these things, you wanna talk to friends, you wanna talk to family, to see if this is something that they’re comfortable with, because if they’re uncomfortable, it’s not gonna be successful to start with. Now, I’m gonna tell you. This for me has gone away years ago, uh, when the year 2000 came in, I noticed there’s a major [00:12:00] drop in doing both the bouquet and garter toss, and it was becoming more of just a bouquet toss and, uh. I gotta tell you there’s reasons for it. So, one is, people didn’t really like the garter thing. It got a little sexual. Sometimes people, uh, got a little too touchy when they shouldn’t have been. Or you ended up in a weird situation that your youngest cousin is the one who caught the bouquet. And there’s an older uncle who caught the, the garter.
So that’s just kind of just weird. So he always had to use an alternative way to make that happen. So it wasn’t that awkward. A lot of people thought it was [00:12:30] just too sexual. And a lot of people too is the bouquet became, uh, unpopular for the purpose of not everyone wants to be pointed out that they’re single.
So, uh, When you don’t have over a dozen women going out there to catch this bouquet, this may not work out very well. And you gotta keep in mind that you have to kind of go through your RSVP list and figure, who is an outgoing person enough that would actually go out there and then you may wanna kind of talk to them.
Would they do this when it comes time? Uh, Your plus ones don’t normally [00:13:00] go out there, so you can’t count them. So you wanna make sure you have a good showing because if it’s not a good showing, it’s gonna fall flat and you just wasted time doing this where you just could have kept the dancing going to be quite honest.
Sylvester: We’ve just explained the history and music to play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss. Coming up next. Eight creative ways to skip them.
DJ Sal Fusco: But first, if you have a question or concern, go now to Facebook and join us on the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Community and, actually, you could also join us on the Connecticut [00:13:30] Wedding Advice Community. Join us on our YouTube channel. Just search for the Stress Free Wedding Planning podcast with Sal and Sam. Like, subscribe and get it first.
JR: The Stress Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal and Sam, a podcast for engaged couples concerned about Wedding Planning and family expectations, but who want a stress free, fun and unforgettable wedding.
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DJ Sal Fusco: Now, Wedding Tip Wednesday. But first, some marriage advice. Always answer the question, “Do I look fat in this?” With ..”You look perfect!”. Ha-ha Ha Ha-Ha!
Sylvester: Absolutely true. Very tricky question. On today’s Wedding Tip Wednesday, Stop Halfway Down The Aisle. What do I mean? After the ceremony, when you are walking back down [00:15:00] the aisle, it’s called The Recessional. Stop halfway down the aisle and kiss. This is another great moment for your photographer to take a picture and a chance for you to dip your partner and wow your guests.
DJ Sal Fusco: That’s another wedding tip from Sal and Sam.
Adam: Wedding Tip Wednesday is available on the Stress Free Wedding Planning Facebook group page every Wednesday. Join the group for free.
DJ Sal Fusco: Welcome back to our discussion about what to play for the bouquet guard or toss in eight creative ways to [00:15:30] skip them. I’m Sal from After Hours Events of New England.
Sylvester: I’m Sam from Atmosphere Productions. We’ve already discussed the history and the music that you can use for the bouquet and garter ceremony, plus why couples no longer want to do it.
Now let’s discuss some alternatives. Here are a few ideas that keeps guests involved, and sometimes you may not need a bouquet or garter.
The Anniversary Dance is my number one choice for this. This is a [00:16:00] way as skipping the bouquet and garter toss altogether. You will need your bouquet though as a giveaway. How this works is beforehand with your dj, you choose a song to play. We invite in my version, there are different versions of doing this.
In my version, we invite all. The married couples to the dance floor, we start dancing to the song you’ve chosen and then we start eliminating everybody that’s been married for [00:16:30] one day or less. Well, that’s you, of course. And then one year, five year 10, until we get to 24 years. Then we congratulate everybody that’s left because they’ve celebrated a quarter century and then 30, 40, 50. And then what I like to do is start counting down. Singularly. So 51, 52, 53. It builds a little anticipation until you get to the last couple on the dance floor, at which point you are obviously going to give them your [00:17:00] throwaway bouquet or a gift. It’s up to you. And I usually, uh, invite a little comment from the gentleman on the tip on how, uh, he thinks that you two can stay married for as long as they have, and then we play a song to get everybody back out on the dance floor.
And as you see what you see. You do here is you fill the dance floor with married couples and by the time you are done, everybody’s in a circle around the edge of the dance floor and you can just open up the dancing once again. Quick and simple. It’s called the [00:17:30] Anniversary Celebration Dance.
DJ Sal Fusco: Sam. That’s such a wonderful alternative. Uh, Another thing that’s been happening is that no one does anything except for taking the bouquet and giving it to someone special. I’ve watched our brides and our couples come together and present it to grandparents or to a grandmother or to a mom. Uh, It could be, or a special aunt.
It could be anyone that is truly special and close to you that you wanna present [00:18:00] this bouquet to. I’m typically asked to make just a quick announcement about how this bouquet is gonna be presented to this specific person because of how special they are in the couple’s life.
Sylvester: Yes. That giving away the bouquet to someone special is a great idea. Another one that you can do is a Ladies Dance. This is where you play an upbeat girl power anthem song, and you invite all the women to dance on the dance floor, no bouquet needed. It’s like a mini celebration in the [00:18:30] middle of your reception for all of the ladies. And songs that you can use is Shania Twain’s, “Man, I feel Like A Woman”. Selena Gomez, “Me And My Girls”. David Guetta “Where Them Girls At” and Martina McBride’s “This One’s For The Girls.” So you do a little mini celebration at your celebration for all the ladies.
DJ Sal Fusco: Now, here’s something that you could have everyone involved and we call it The Couples Dance Off. So what we typically do on one side of dance floor, we have all the guys lined [00:19:00] up and on the other side we have the girls lined up. And the first person on the opposite side of the line, I should say the first couple will dance right down the center. So they’re gonna show off their dance move, having a lot of fun. And when they come to the end, the next couple goes and we keep going and we keep cheering them on until we get through everyone who’s had an opportunity to get through that. And a lot of times what I like to do is develop it into a circle at that point and just have people do dance offs singularly, uh, in the middle of the dance floor. Just creates a lot of fun and a lot of [00:19:30] energy.
Sylvester: The great thing about that one, Sal, is that you keep everybody on the dance floor, and that’s what our aim is. Up next is what we call the Charity Bouquet Auction. Now this takes a little bit of planning in advance. I’ve done this once at a wedding a few years ago, and you are going to auction off your bouquet. So firstly, you’re gonna find a charity that you can donate the money to.
You print up a little card with what you’re going to do during the auction, and basically the [00:20:00] DJ auctions off the bouquet to the highest bidder. I would typically suggest that we do this at some point during the dinner or at the very end of uh, dinner. Uh, So that way we don’t interrupt the dancing ’cause remember, everybody’s gotta be seated for this. And you are just going to take bids until you get the highest bidder. Whoever bids the highest, gets the bouquet and obviously pays the money to the charity of your choice.
DJ Sal Fusco: Now something else you could do is Gift Your Bouquet To An Engaged [00:20:30] Couple. So if you have a close family member or a really good friend who has just gotten engaged. You could present the bouquet to them, ’cause obviously they’re the next to get married. So it makes all the sense in the world. So now you’ve just gotta gotta rid that superstition because they are next. Here’s the bouquet. Enjoy! Congratulate them and have some kind words for them over the microphone and the couple will undoubtedly be amazed and leave the wedding with smiles on their faces. For you made them a [00:21:00] big part of your special day. But what is always important, always talk to the couple ahead of time. Make sure they don’t mind the attention, because if they’re not attention people, you may not want to do this, because you don’t wanna embarrass anybody.
Sylvester: Good point there, Sal. Like that. Next you can do something that’s very typical at parties. It’s something called Musical Chairs. Everybody knows how to play musical chairs. You get chairs in a circle and it’s always one less than the count of people that are on the dance floor. Play the music [00:21:30] until the last two participants are left with one chair and the one participant who fails to sit is eliminated. And what we call the winner would then get the throwaway, uh, bouquet or another gift if you didn’t want to give away your flowers. So music chairs. Nice alternative there.
DJ Sal Fusco: Hear’s something real simple, just skip it all entirely. The popularity of the bouquet garter tradition in recent years has really declined, so [00:22:00] why do it? Just keep having fun. Let’s get that dance floor going.
Keep that dance music going and having a great time with your family and friends. That’s what they came to your wedding for, to have a great time with the two of you.
Sylvester: Yeah, you can skip it all together. That’s, that’s great. So our eight alternatives are skipping the bouquet and garter toss altogether. Play musical chairs. Uh, Give the gift of the bouquet to an engaged couple. Do a charity auction. Do a couple’s dance off.
You [00:22:30] can also do a ladies only dance, and you can also do a giveaway of the bouquet. And the number one is the anniversary celebration dance.
Remember, you should feel free to personalize your wedding, however you see fit. In choosing which traditions you want to uphold and which ones you want to add, is entirely up to you.
DJ Sal Fusco: So there you have it. We’ve just explained what to play for the bouquet and garter [00:23:00] toss, and eight creative ways to just skip it. Whether you stick to it with tradition or go for something new, make it fun, make it you, and let the music do the rest.
Sylvester: Now as you spend the next week planning your wedding, if you want me, Sal, or our community of Stress-Free engaged couples and wedding experts to answer any wedding related questions, then join us in the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Facebook group.
DJ Sal Fusco: Once you’re in, go ahead and share your concerns and worries, and we’ll let you know if you are on the right [00:23:30] track or if there are some things you need to work on. The link to join us is in the show notes of this edition, or go to Facebook and search for the Stress-Free Wedding Planning community.
Sylvester: Remember to do something nice for someone today, and if you can’t, then do something nice for yourself. If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just heard, leave a review and share it with a friend or someone who would benefit from this information. Until next time, it’s TTFN, Tata now.
DJ Sal Fusco: Thank you for listening to this edition. A new edition is released every Wednesday. Subscribe and get it. [00:24:00] First we’ll catch. Ciao.
Wayne: The Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast is produced and copyrighted by Atmosphere Productions in association with After Hours Events of New England.
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